Things We Love: Must-Haves for Baby's First Month (and Beyond!)

Photo © 2012 Ash Adams

When Brian and I were preparing for Elliott's arrival, we honestly didn't think we needed very much, at least relative to the zillions of products that are out there--and we were right. Although there is an item or article of clothing for any situation you can possibly imagine, when you're you're having a baby, all you need during the first month is the ability to provide the following five things for your baby: 1.) food 2.) clothing 3.) a safe and comfortable place for baby to sleep 4.) a way to transport baby safely from point A to point B, and 5.)a clean, safe, and healthy environment. Of course, there are little items here and there that help you to meet needs 1-5 a little easier, and now that Elliott is a month old, Brian and I wanted to share the items that have been indispensable to us during this newborn period. Many items listed here were recommended to us or given to us by other new parents, too, so thank you to all of these wonderful friends for their insights!

1.) Breast-feeding Must-haves:

Elliott is a breastfed baby (all breastmilk, no formula), so if you are planning on feeding your newborn formula, just skip over the first section! Moms who have formula-fed their babies and have tips to share: please feel free to share and link to must-have items for forumla-fed newborns!

Philips Avent BPA Free Twin Electric Breast Pump: I researched home breast pumps extensively before selecting one to add to our baby registry, and the Philips Avent BPA Free Twin Electric Breast Pump seemed to have primarily excellent reviews and wasn't so expensive that it would break the bank if we bought it ourselves. Easy to use, easy to clean, lightweight, and efficient I love this pump. Although I primarily breast-feed, I pump 16-20 ounces/day (generally, I pump about 8 ounces in 10 minutes with the pump) which we freeze or refrigerate and use for one of the night feedings, and so I can't emphasize enough what a help this pump has been. The only other pump I have to compare it to is the one I used while in the hospital, a Medela, which, I have to say, was less effective and less comfortable.

Boppy Pillow: I had never heard of a Boppy Pillow before I had one, but I'm so, so glad that my mother-in-law bought me one as a baby shower gift. It's a fairly simple device--it's a pillow that encircles your waist--but I use it with almost every feeding. Elliott is the kind of eater that likes to savor his nourishment and take his time, which means that there are some feedings that last for a few hours, during which he eats vigorously for 20-30 minutes, then naps a little on the breast, then eats a little, then naps a little, and on. The Boppy Pillow makes it much easier to hold him for these long feedings so that we both can enjoy our time together a bit more. There are also many times that I'm able to feed him while working, eating, etc, because the pillow gives him a place to rest between the vigorous feedings. (And then there are many times that he rests his head on the pillow and we just look at and talk to each other for a while.)

Lansinoh HPA Lanolin: During the first few days of breast-feeding, a new mom's nipples take a hit, even if your baby's latch is perfect or nearly perfect from the start. After the first few feedings at the hospital, I was glad that I had a tube of Lansinoh HPA Lanolin in our overnight bag after several friends had recommended it, and I still use it after some of the marathon feedings to soothe sore nipples. In the beginning, slather is on generously with reckless abandon after every feeding and just leave it on. Your nipples will thank you. If you're anything like me, you'll only be using it once every couple of days after the longer feedings by the end of the first month.

Milkies Milk Savers: I cannot emphasize enough to breast-feeding women the importance of having one or two of these Milkies Milk Savers around. If you don't believe me, breast-feed for a week or two and watch as "let-down" milk flows from the non-nursing breast all over your clothes. After just a few days, you will find that every ounce or two of milk is precious, and wasting the let-down is, well, really annoying. The milk saver is a simple rubbery device that you slip into the bra cup of the non-nursing breast and that catches the let-down milk as you nurse, keeping your clothes dry and allowing you to refrigerate or freeze the let-down milk. You might be surprised how much milk you're losing with each feeding; at every feeding, I am able to store 2 ounces from each breast just from the milk saver, which really adds up. (Why pump more than you have to?)

Nursing Bras: All I can say about nursing bras, really, is this: go big. Go bigger than you think is possible, and look for comfort and simplicity, at least for your first few weeks, above anything else. These 2-pack nursing bras from Target have been my favorites, and although they're really only for crew-necks and tees (the racerback is a bit high for anything else), they're simple, lightweight, and supportive.

2.) Baby Clothing Essentials:

Clothing is the thing that you'll want to pick out for yourself but unfortunately, everyone will want to buy you. It is not unfortunate that people want to buy things for your child, but it is unfortunate because you just don't need that many clothes, and if you're even mildly picky like Brian and I, you'll end up using only those things you bought yourself anyways. (This excludes the handmade hats from your friends and clothing items from people who are very close to you and know your tastes well.) I also need to make a note about the Gap: Brian and I are not regular patrons of the Gap, but they have become our favorite place to pick up newborn and baby clothes. They're spendier than we'd like most of the time, but shop only their sale section and you'll come away with some awesome pieces that cost hardly anything. Anyways, below are the clothing items that we use in rotation every week and that we will be using for at least the next two months:

Gerber Brand White Side-Snaps Shirts: As far as baby clothing is concerned, side-snaps are the way to go. They're so easy to button and unbutton, and they're adorable. Buy one pack of 3 short-sleeved shirts and one of 3 long-sleeved, and you're set.

1-2 Kimono style outfits like these from Baby Soy: My cousin purchased this one for us, which turned us on the to brand, and we love them. They're easy to button and un-button, which makes dressing and undressing baby really easy, and they're soft and breathable. What's more, Elliott loves them!

2 sleeping gowns like these from American Apparel: The benefits to the sleeping gowns are pretty obvious--they make nighttime changes really easy and they're super soft and comfortable.

2 warmish long-sleeved, long-legged one-pieces for going out like the one-piece argyle sweater (from the Gap) that Elliott is wearing the photo above. (The ones I purchased are no longer online, but when I purchased them, they were on sale for ten dollars each--a steal!--and we use them all the time.) This is the perfect "going out" outfit in the Alaskan springtime (and I suspect summer and fall, too), when the temperatures are in the high 40's and very low 50's; with a hat and some booties, Elliott stays warm on our 2-3-mile walks in the Bjorn and even is usually a little warm if we stop at the bakery or the market. For newborns, we've found, it's simpler to stay away from layers and just try to have a few versatile pieces that work with indoor temperatures and outdoor temperatures.

4-6 Pairs of Tall Socks like these Triple-Roll Socks from the Gap. Low-cut socks fall right off of a newborn or will be promptly kicked off, but Brian and I pull the Triple-Roll Socks all of the way up (they hit just above the knee) which is not only really, really cute but also effective; Elliott doesn't try to kick them off and they don't fall off easily.

gDiapers: Obviously, not everyone wants to go the cloth diaper route, so this bullet may be lost on you. But if you're like us, you want something that's eco-friendly but not just a piece of cloth (eew). And so gDiapers were perfect for us: they're basically reusable cloth diapers that have biodegradable inserts that you simply remove and flush. So, in other words, they're a lot better than plastic diapers that last forever in a landfill and that allow baby to stay wet longer than is good for him but they're not cloth diapers that will leak through immediately and that you have to wash in your sink or washer daily. We go through one-two of the cloth diapers per day, and not because anything goes through the insert, but usually because some mess gets on the side somehow. It keeps our washloads to 1-2 times a week instead of everyday. One note: the newborn sizes just do not work, as a lot of other reviewers will tell you, too (we bought them even after reading these because we wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt); they are an odd size and the velcro strip that fastens the diaper has sharp edges that poked Elliott's legs no matter what we did. So we used Earth's Best diapers for the first two weeks with Elliott, then upgraded to the Small-size g-diapers, and now we love them and will use them until he is potty-trained.

3.)Bedding Essentials:

A newborn doesn't need much in the way of bedding to sleep soundly, but to sleep safely it comes down to having a mattress that isn't too soft and to have nothing else in his immediate sleeping area. Both of these restrictions prevent SIDS, as does keeping the baby in the room of the parents for the first 4 months of life, which is why we really only have one recommendation for sleeping essentials:

DaVinci Chloe Cradle: This cradle is lovely, simple, and the perfect size for a newborn-6 month-old baby, and it's the perfect size to keep in the parent's bedroom for the first few months. The mattress that comes with the cradle is actually a bit too hard for Elliott, but with the addition of this Quilted Waterproof Cradle Mattress Pad and a thick-but-firm quilt sewed by a good friend, Elliott sleeps soundly and safely (and we sleep a bit sounder, too).

4.) Transportation Must-Haves:

For a newborn, you really only need a car seat and some sort of walking infant carrier, be it a strap-on carrier or a stroller. Brian and I were not interested in purchasing a stroller, at least not for the first few months, so I have nothing to report just yet, but two things we use almost daily (if not daily) are the following:

Chicco Keyfit 30 Infant Car Seat: Because we have nothing to compare this to, I can't say all that much about this one, but I will say that the Chicco Keyfit 30 Infant Car Seat was recommended to us by several new parents, and we have only loved it. It's easy to use, not too heavy (though, I will say, it isn't light either), and Elliott loves it.

Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier Active: We use our Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier Active every single day, and although we may upgrade to the Ergo after he's a year or so, the Bjorn has been perfect for his first month (babies smaller than 8 pounds aren't supposed to roll in the Bjorn, though, so if you have a preemie, the Bjorn will have to wait).

5.)Health & Safety Essentials:

This is the most ambiguous of all of the "must-haves," I know. But really, again, creating a healthy and safe environment for your newborn boils down to the essentials. Keep your baby clean, keep your home mellow but inspired, and always remind yourself that almost always less is more. Read almost any book on baby and childhood development, and you'll see countless studies that prove that babies thrive with less "screen-stimuli" (aka: television) and more one-on-one interaction. They need quiet time to sleep (and this plays a crucial part in brain development) and active playtime with their parents or primary caregivers. If babies are able to be calm and lovingly engaged, their brains will develop better.

This is why perhaps, above all else, TIME and PATIENCE are listed first under this category. Take time to enjoy your baby and the bonding that happens during these first few weeks, and be patient; baby can't speak yet, but just staying calm and patient and trying to figure out what baby is trying to tell you will bring you closer together. I've never been "good" with babies, per se, so this whole "bonding" thing was a little scary to me. Even though Elliott is my son--the son I carried for nearly ten months--when he was born, he was loved more than I could have ever imagined but was still a bit of a stranger. We knew each other, but not like this. But just being patient--with both Elliott and myself--has paid off. (Brian says the same thing.) We're only a month into this thing, but our home is already a happy one that communicates well. For us, "time" also applied to visitors; Brian and I limited the amount of visitors and visits each day and have kept them short. Not everyone likes or understands this, of course, but withdrawing for the past few weeks has been essential in giving our family the space we need to just be together during this special foundational time.

And now, for the practical purchased items:

Homemade First Aid Kit: This one is a no-brainer, really. If you look at infant first-aid kits, they typically cost way more than they're worth and have hardly anything in them, so while I was in the "nesting" phase of pregnancy, I made my own "kit," which is essentially an organizer that contains first aid essentials: thermometer, alcohol, peroxide, bandages, bulb syringe, gauze, antibiotic ointment, etc. I'm sure many things will go unused for years, but it's nice knowing that they're there.

Bathing Supplies: Babies don't need very much for bathing; in fact, they really only need warm water. (And because they aren't supposed to be bathed until after they loose their umbilical stump, you'll probably only get 1-2 baths in during baby's first month.) Of the two times we've bathed Elliott--which he loves!--we've used only this Tummy Tub which was a gift from Brian's cousin, a soft organic baby wash cloth from Babies-R-Us, Burts Bees Baby Bee Fragrance-Free Shampoo and Wash, and this awesome hooded towel, and I don't anticipate needing anything else for coming baths for a while.

Eddie Bauer Heritage Tote: Any diaper bag will do, really, but Brian and I have seriously loved this Eddie Bauer Heritage Tote, which is super-roomy with the perfect amount of pockets, a portable changing pad, and a wet bag. It won't break the bank, either, at under thirty bucks. (Brian: "I love that bag.")

Baby Books: For everyone who wants to buy you clothes for your baby shower, ask instead that they buy you baby books; we are so thankful for every one that we own, some of which we purchased ourselves and many that were given to us as gifts. While moving pictures are overwhelming for and kind of lost on newborns, Elliott loves being read to, and Brian and I are amazed at the amount of attention he gives still images and drawings.

And, in closing, I need to mention one luxury item that is not a must-have, necessarily, but that we love:

Davinci Emily Changer with Drawer: This changing table is the bee's knees, and if your baby loves it as much as Elliott does, it actually will be a must-have! For the first few days after we had Elliott--before we had assembled the table--he was never excited about being changed. He wasn't fussy about it either, but he didn't love it like he does now. And we love it, too! The table keeps our space looking open and organized, and it means that changing time is one less time in the day that we have to bend over to do something. And, changing time is "fun time"; we sing "changing songs" (don't ask what they are, they're pretty embarrassing and some of them are homemade), help Elliott hold his rattle and rattle along, clap our hands because we're happy and we know it. And so, having something that makes changing time all a bit more neat and comfortable for everyone is a good thing.

Well, those are the things we love for the first month, all of which (aside from the clothes) will still be in use over the course of the next 6-12 months. I'm sure we'll have some new discoveries and must-haves along the way, so stay tuned!